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Hitman: Agent 47 review

Hitman: Agent 47 review

by John Seedhouse

The worst thing about being a casual console game player is that every time you fancy a quick bit of killing stuff action, you need to wait for 40mins while the latest updates download. Anyway, there we are in the cinema waiting for the downloads to happen so we can watch Hitman: Agent 47

Hitman: Agent 47 is the follow up to a film called – Hitman. It must have been a success as they have kept the same writer on-board. Anyway, it’s all based on a game that I haven’t played but was semi-aware of.

All very stylish and moody then. First time feature director, Aleksander Bach, has made a decent stab at conveying a level of moody style to the film as befits a director whose previous works are largely automotive and lifestyle brand commercials (you can check out his previous bits and bobs on his website.) That said, the first half of the film feels a lot like the narrative jump scenes that come with most video games (the bits you watch once and then X button past) with some generic action(y) bits interspersed.

This makes is quite difficult to build any kind of emotional connection with the lead characters. Mrs L points out that this might be deliberate in an attempt to reinforce the isolated nature of a programmed test-tube killing machine. I guess that she may be right – Rupert Friend (the titular Hitman) has done some half-decent stuff (including Homeland) so I am guessing that the shaven headed machine here must have taken some character work to get right. In one shot, whilst driving the cinematically ubiquitous Audi, he is clearly smiling – which feels somehow out-of-place.

Hannah Ware was in Boss – which was a half decent TV thing with Kelsey Grammar, and there she played a strung out and confused daughter… In Hitman: Agent 47 she breaks the type to play a strung out and confused daughter. Her knight in shining armour is Zachary Quinto. He plays John Smith. He works, possibly for either, the Syndicate, or the Organization… You have to think that the writers put a few place-holders in and then just thought, “f*ck it.”

Interestingly the villain of the piece is called L’Eclerc… Made me smile at the halfway point…

 

There are some impressive VFX and the pacing does even out by the half-way point, leading up to a strangely out-of-place elevator scene that may have simply been a director’s wish-list shot…

Hitman: Agent 47 never really rises above the computer game level narrative. There is a scene in Singapore, where all the cars in the street appear to be identical except for being either yellow or blue – it feels as if the world-maker artists just went home early that day.

Bad then?

Hitman: Agent 47 is exactly what you expect it to be. It’s a chuck away advert for a computer game. That said, it is a decent enough distraction. We went because we wanted a stupid, actiony movie. It did what was needed of it. It isn’t horrific and it is better than straight-to-Netflix fodder…

Worth the money?

We picked it because we have got Unlimited Cards, from Cineworld, so I won’t give a value-for-money answer. If you can see it for the equivalent of a couple of pints, then it is probably better for you than the calorie intake.

Sell it to me then…

Mrs L thinks that Zachary Quinto is okay, and he is in it. If you like suits and red ties, then it’s a winner. If you drive an Audi, then it will probably make you feel all special when you drive home…(at least until the next Transporter arrives)… Go, watch Hitman: Agent 47, if you want to.

I reckon that it is worth 2 and a half clips of inexhaustible rounds out of 5.

 

John once rolled over the bonnet of his car at Drayton Manor and scared a couple of pensioners. He has never been a genetically modified killing machine but has got a metal reinforced face…

 

Got an opinion?